films seen
average score
Alive and kicking
more info

Big nopes

House of Bones

2010 / 90m - USA
House of Bones poster

Irritation overload


2015 / 87m - Canada
Suspension poster

I'm usually pretty good at picking out the rotten apples, but once in a while a half-decent poster, some smart screencaps and a deceptive trailer manage to trick me into watching unfiltered amateurish crap. Or maybe I just looked at the wrong title. Welcome to Suspension, a film that even flubs one of the most basic horror niches: the slasher.

Read all

There's some potential in the plot I guess, with a girl drawing gruesome scenes that may or may not be coming to life and a backstory about her dad being a raving mad serial killer, but the execution is so bland end cheap that it's hardly worth bothering with. At best, this is decent potential gone to waste.

The performances are absolutely horrifying, the cinematography looks dirt cheap and the soundtrack is an insult. The kills are extremely boring, characters are flimsy and there is no suspense whatsoever. Unless you can appreciate DIY horror, it's probably best to stay clear of this film.