films seen
average score
Alive and kicking
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2014 / 100m - USA
Clown poster

Spider-Man: Far from Home

2019 / 129m - USA
Action, Fantasy
Spider-Man: Far from Home poster

I usually berate superhero film for being too serious, that doesn't mean I want them to appeal more to tweens. That's exactly what the new Spider-Man films seem to be doing though. Some terrible high school nonsense with a bit of Marvel superhero stuff thrown in for good measure.

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At least Far from Home makes the most of its "trip to Europe" plot, even when the depiction of the European setting is full of horrible clich├ęs. The different cities make for a nice change of pace, even when the all the rest remains pretty much the same, bland romance included.

Far from Home's biggest problem is that its villain is quite feeble and childish and never poses a serious threat. The light tone, decent pacing and expensive effect keep it watchable, but it's really not a good film and the high school antics give it an almost sitcom-like vibe. That's not a desired result when you spend so much money on a single film.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

2021 / 148m - USA
Action, Adventure, Fantasy
Spider-Man: No Way Home poster

While I've watched most Marvel films, I've stopped caring about any connection these films have. I'm sure they made quite an effort to link this new Spider-Man film to all the others (and Dr. Strange, for some weird reason), but I simply don't care enough for any of the characters, nor the plot. There are no stakes anyway, as Marvel will just reset whatever plot twist they introduce in the next couple of films.

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Spider-Man has been outed, which makes his life quite a bit harder. He and his friends aren't accepted into their favored college, Peter is pretty bummed and wants to try and rectify that situation. He goes to Dr Strange for help, who messes up his magic spell, which disrupts the space-time continuum. Or something like that.

The comedy bits are horrendous, the high school stuff is annoying, the bad guys are dumb and unappealing. Dr Strange has some nifty tricks, which are all just expensive CG demos, and all of this is stretched to a full 140 minutes. As long as people keep praising crap like this, Marvel will just keep making it.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

2017 / 133m - USA
Action, Adventure, Sci-fi
Spider-Man: Homecoming poster

Excessively dumb and childish, as if you're watching a Nickelodeon superhero film. Holland is irritating, the humor is 100% cringe and the bad guy is terribly boring. Action scenes are dull too and all of that is stretched to a lousy 130 minutes. One of the worst Marvel films in a while and that's saying something.