films seen
4
average score
1.38*
nationality
status
Alive and kicking

Movies


Bedtime Stories

2008 / 99m - USA
Comedy, Fantasy
2.5*/5.0*
Bedtime Stories poster

Disenchanted

2022 / 121m - USA
Adventure, Fantasy
1.5*/5.0*
Disenchanted poster

A good 15 years after the first film, we get a sequel. Disenchanted brings another contemporary update of classic Disney, which is good news for fans of classic Disney, not so good news for the rest of the world. I understand this film is supposed to be the ultimate cheese and saccharine Disney pastiche, but even then I think they could've done it a lot better.

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After Giselle and Robert's happily ever after, things aren't quite as happy as they hoped they would be. Gisella decides she wants to move to the suburbs, but her daughter Morgan isn't too happy with that plan. But Giselle pushes through, even though deep down she realizes it's not the answer to her problems.

The music and songs are way too much for me, Adams' performance is more than a little grating and the Disney polish makes everything way too bland and safe. The production values are there though and the mix between live-action and animation has potential, I'm just not the audience for this type of film.


Rock of Ages

2012 / 123m - USA
Comedy, Musical
1.0*/5.0*
Rock of Ages poster

The Pacifier

2005 / 95m - USA
Action, Comedy
0.5*/5.0*
The Pacifier poster

No idea who talked Vin Diesel into doing this film, probably (and hopefully) Disney offered him a bucket load of money for this part because this was absolute trash. While I realize I'm not at all the target audience for this kind of film, I do hope general standards for kids films are a bit higher than this.

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It seems all brawny men must at least make one of these, The Pacifier fits right in with Johnson's Tooth Fairy or Schwarzenegger's Kindergarten Cop. Diesel is a Seal who needs to babysit a bunch of kids for an undercover assignment. He's not babysitter material and the kids aren't really taking to him either. Supposed hilarity ensues.

This is meant to be a comedy with some action/adventure bits thrown in for good measure, the problem is that the film is never funny, while the action is really childish and subpar. Somehow it made a lot of money at the box office, so I'm sure there's an audience for this, but it sure it ain't me. Ugh.