films seen
6
average score
1.83*
nationality
status
Alive and kicking

Movies


The Meg

2018 / 113m - USA
Action, Horror, Sci-fi
3.5*/5.0*
The Meg poster

Silly but amusing shark spectacle. The international cast is a real plus, the rollercoaster approach of director Jon Turteltaub essential to the entertainment value. The visual effects are fine, the pacing is okay and even though the film didn't make much sense, it's a hoot from start to finish. A worthy blockbuster.


Cool Runnings

1993 / 98m - USA
Sport, Comedy
2.0*/5.0*
Cool Runnings poster

One of those films I watched as a kid but have never revisited since. It was a popular film back then, though looking back it's difficult to see why. It's not the worst Disney around, but it's a pretty cheesy and even though it's based on a true story, it feels like a vintage Hollywood bullshit story.

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When a successful sprinter fails to quality for the Olympics, he isn't willing to let go just yet. He finds an opportunity to qualify as a bobsledder. The problem is that he doesn't have a coach, he doesn't have any teammates, and he's never even seen a bobsled before. But you know how it'll pan out.

Turteltaub's direction is pretty decent, with the help of four jolly Jamaicans and John Candy as their coach the atmosphere remains light and agreeable, even when there's the occasional drama to get past. The film is relatively short, the pacing is fine and there are some giggles along the way. The ending it trite though, but on the whole it could've been a lot worse.


The Sorcerer's Apprentice

2010 / 109m - USA
Fantasy, Action
1.5*/5.0*
The Sorcerer's Apprentice poster

A film that tries to be a lot, but ends up being nothing much of anything. I'm still not sure whether this was supposed to be a cooler, darker film for 10-year-olds, or a flaccid Disney attempt to start a new fantasy franchise. Was this a young adult film maybe? At least you can't fault Turteltaub for trying to do all of these things at once.

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Dave is a geeky guy who spends his free time in his underground laboratory, experimenting with coils and electricity. His life takes a different turn when he meets Balthazar, a decedent from Merlin who sees in Dave an ideal subject to become his successor. Dave isn't too sure about that, but how can he reject becoming a sorcerer?

I don't think Nicolas Cage was a very smart cast, the rest of the actors aren't much better. The comedy is lame, the soundtrack is horrendous, and the action isn't too impressive. A few scenes stand out, but mostly because of the budget. I think we can all be happy the no doubt planned sequel never got made.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets

2007 / 124m - USA
Adventure, Action
1.5*/5.0*
National Treasure: Book of Secrets poster

Very simple sequel that merely replicates the first film. I bet that's what makes these franchises so appealing to film studios, with a film like National Treasure there's always some new and bigger treasure to be found, so you don't have to work hard to come up with a sequel. Just reuse the same cast, throw a different treasure hunt at them and you're done.

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I wasn't a big fan of the first film. It felt like an Indiana Jones/Tomb Raider knock-off wrapped in a Disney jacket, meaning it was too polished, too neat, too PG to be any fun. The sequel doesn't deviate from that at all, so once again it feels like the fun was sucked right out of the film.

Cage is way too restrained, the action scenes are dull, the mystery is somewhat childish and the effects are poor. No deaths, no real bad guys, not an ounce of grit of edginess. It's a good thing they stopped after this second film, but it's one of those franchises that could be revived with a single snap of a finger.

National Treasure

2004 / 131m - USA
Adventure, Action
1.5*/5.0*
National Treasure poster

A film that aimed to kick-start the next Indiana Jones franchise. Nicolas Cage is a skilled treasure hunter on a quest for a fortune his forefathers have been eyeing for generations. When he's finally making some headway, two of his best friends betray him, leaving him behind empty-handed.

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This could've been fun enough. While it rarely leads to amazing cinema, films like these tend to be pretty entertaining. Some crypts, pitfalls, crazy hints and mysterious locations. And this one has the benefit of Cage in the lead. Sadly the film turned out to be extremely PG, which clearly limited its potential.

Apart from Cage, the performances are rather bland. The action isn't too exciting either and the mystery isn't all that gripping. At least the pacing is decent, but a shorter runtime would've been appreciated, especially since it's been done so many times before. I'm surprised they made a sequel to this one.


While You Were Sleeping

1995 / 103m - USA
Comedy, Romance
1.0*/5.0*
While You Were Sleeping poster