films seen
7
average score
2.79*
nationality
status
Alive and kicking

Movies


The Descent

2005 / 99m - UK
Horror
3.5*/5.0*
The Descent poster

One of those films you need to see in pitch black darkness. It's been a while since I last watched The Descent, and while it stood the test of time pretty well, it has lost some of its shine since its original release. The second half in particular isn't quite as tight as it needed to be. Back then that was a bit easier to forgive, as it stood at the very start of a horror renaissance. Nowadays, it makes the difference between a bona fide genre masterwork and mere prime genre filler.

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After their last trip ended in tragedy, a group of young women gets together again to pick up where they left off. They plan a little trek through some caves, but disaster is about to strike again. After part of the structure caves in, they are trapped inside the mountain. And as it turns out, they are not alone down there.

The setup is moody and uneasy, the first half of the film does a great job of building up the tension. The reveal of the monsters is also great, but then things start to crumble a bit. Too much monster exposure takes away from the dread and some of the scenes are a little silly when you're not 100% invested in the escape. Still, there are some moments of greatness here, and it remains a tense and claustrophobic horror flick. A rightful horror classic, just not a personal favorite anymore.


Centurion

2010 / 97m - UK
Action, Adventure
3.0*/5.0*
Centurion poster

Doomsday

2008 / 105m - UK
Sci-fi, Action, Thriller
3.0*/5.0*
Doomsday poster

Dog Soldiers

2002 / 105m - UK
Action, Horror
3.0*/5.0*
Dog Soldiers poster

The Lair

2022 / 96m - UK
Action, Horror
2.0*/5.0*
The Lair poster

Neil Marshall's latest looked as if he would hark back to his earliest successes, but instead of a moody and dark horror film, we get an action flick with some creatures running amok. That still could've been a lot of fun, if only Mashall had been a half-decent action director. Sadly, he is not.

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When Sinclair's jet crashes in enemy territory, she flees to a suspicious-looking bunker. Far below the ground, she finds a secret facility where strange creatures are kept. Her arrival awakes them and though Sinclair manages to escape the bunker, it won't be long before they follow her outside.

The action scenes are loud but uninteresting, most of the actors are pretty terrible and too often the creatures look like men in cheap rubber suits. The film has its moments though. The sequences below the ground are moody and the horror gets quite graphic. It's not enough to save the film, but at least it's something.


Hellboy

2019 / 120m - USA
Fantasy, Action
1.5*/5.0*
Hellboy poster

Neil Marshall doing Hellboy sounded like a lot of fun. It's clear the film was supposed to be a lot of fun too, with some very gratuitous gore, plenty of juicy bad guys and in-your-face comedy. But none of it really sticks, and the result is a badly shot action flick with terrible performances and cringy comedy.

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Hellboy gets summoned to help a group of British hunters to kill a trio of giants who are ravaging the woodlands. When they draw near to their prey, the hunters turn on Hellboy, saying he can't ascend the British throne. Confused, Hellboy follows a trail that will lead him to his real parents.

The CG looks shoddy, which is a shame as the monster designs are actually pretty cool. The action choreography is poor, the comedic timing is completely off and the soundtrack is cheesy as hell. And when the ending tries to go completely over-the-top, it still feels like a poor Devilman rip-off. This should've been fun, but it wasn't.