films seen
average score
Alive and kicking
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Dubious filler

Clifford the Big Red Dog

2021 / 97m - USA
Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy
Clifford the Big Red Dog poster

The title says it all really. I wasn't familiar with the franchise at all, but apparently the Clifford stories have been going strong for a good 50 years. It's an unflinching kids film, the kind that doesn't even try to appeal to moms and dads, then again kids are the film's primary target audience.

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Emily feels like an outcast. She doesn't fit in with the kids at school and her home situation isn't exactly stable either. Her life changes when she finds a little red dog who changes overnight in the biggest dog the world has ever seen. Emily is finally happy, but others want the dog for monetary gain.

Whitehall's American accent is a bit disappointing (and unnecessary), the CG could've been better and the message of the film is really cheesy, but there's some British charm that makes you wonder how much better the film would've been if it had been set in London. Nice if you have kids, borderline if you don't.

Plain forgettable

Wild Hogs

2007 / 100m - USA
Adventure, Comedy
Wild Hogs poster

Irritation overload

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip

2015 / 92m - USA
Comedy, Music
Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip poster

The fourth and (hopefully) final part in this dreadful franchise. Not much effort went into this one either and it's clear we've finally hit rock bottom. Some tired old plot about a looming marriage and two sets of "kids" who don't like the prospect of living together. They devise a plan to stop the wedding, but of course lots of things go wrong.

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This is basically a road movie, because "road chip" was a pun they hadn't used yet. At least it allows for some change in scenery and characters, but it doesn't really help when everyone they meet up with is terribly annoying, including some haphazard bad guy who mistakes bad acting for comedy.

I won't spoil the ending (hah), but it's safe to say there aren't many surprises here. There's no growth in the characters, the pop music is still hideous and the chipmunks simply aren't funny. Might be good if you want to add to your kids ADD or when you're completely out of sugar, but as a film it's extremely dire.