films seen
3
average score
1.67*
nationality
status
Alive and kicking

Movies


Barbie

2023 / 114m - USA
Comedy, Fantasy
2.0*/5.0*
Barbie poster

Pretty much what you'd expect from a Gerwig-directed Barbie film. The cinematography and design aren't good enough for a 100 million-dollar blockbuster film, the ideology is Instagram-deep and there are plenty of references to real-world Barbie stuff, so blatant that even non-Barbie fans will catch them.

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Barbie is living her perfect life when suddenly cracks in her existence start to appear. In order to find out what is wrong, she has to leave her perfect world and travel to the real world, to mend the problems of the person who is using her as a toy. Ken joins Barbie on her quest, and that's when the problems start.

The film works best as a simple comedy, but even then the styling feels unfinished and lacking in creativity. Things get more embarrassing when Gerwig tries to add meaning to the film, resulting in a rather dull and painful finale. The most impressive thing about Barbie is the hype created with advertising dollars, apart from that, it's a pretty middling and forgettable film.

Lady Bird

2017 / 94m - USA
Drama, Comedy
2.0*/5.0*
Lady Bird poster

Gerwig's coming of age drama garnered a lot of critical acclaim, for the most part I found it quite dull and predictable, sporting very unpleasant and uninteresting characters who simple go through the motions that are inherent to the genre. That is to say, it was exactly what I expected it to be.

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The entire film hinges on Christine's character. She calls herself "Lady Bird" though, that and the fact she grows up in a rather traditional American family is probably all you need to know to fill in the remaining blanks. Some generic drama between Christine and her mom ensues, but I can't say I really cared.

Ronan at least tried her best to make something of it, but she can't rise above her character. The rest of the cast is pretty basic, the film feels timeless (which is extremely odd for a coming of age drama) and the styling is bland. The decent pacing and the short runtime are pretty much the only things saving this film from complete damnation.


Little Women

2019 / 135m - USA
Drama, Romance
1.0*/5.0*
Little Women poster

I'm not familiar with the book and only saw the '94 remake, of which I remember virtually nothing. After seeing Gerwig's version, I find comfort in the idea that I'll have forgotten all about this version too in just a few days. What a lifeless, dull and uninspired remake, a film that feels completely lost in 2019.

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The story about four young women growing up after the American Civil War was once revolutionary, nowadays it feels dated and stuffy. Gerwig's attempt to infuse the story with a bit more girl power by focusing on the Jo character doesn't really work, probably because the rest of the film remains incredibly old-fashioned.

Gerwig's direction is poor, performances are mediocre across the board and there's no reason this story should've been dragged out to span 135 minutes, especially because the focus mostly rests on just one character anyway. There was a lot of hype surrounding this film, not a clue what that was about. This was corny, tired and outdated.