Log: week 41 / 2022

When Rose arrives at her hotel, nobody is there. She takes the elevator, and at the last moment, a strange-looking guy joins her. On their way up the lift gets stuck and as they are unable to get it to move again, they start up an awkward conversation. The man turns out to be a colleague of Rose, who knows a thing or two about office secrets.

Both actors do a splendid job, Johnson makes excellent use of the small environment (he is a cinematographer after all), the music is moody and some minor twists here and there keep the film moving forward (even when the elevator isn't). A nifty and polished film that makes me interested in Johnson's other work.

Every year a killer race is held. Several teams show up in crafty race cars and try to reach the finish first. On the way there they must rack up points by killing civilians, with different genders and age brackets being assigned a different amount of points. Yes, there is some strategy to it. The media loves to cover the race, but the public is starting to rebel.

The performances aren't all that great (Stallone is terrible even), and the effects and car designs are a little crummy, but the satire works and the film has a bright and happy vibe that contrasts perfectly well with the actual themes. I wouldn't call it great cinema, but there's still some appeal left, which is something for a 40-year-old film.

Guitry tells the life story of a charming cheat. As a young boy, he was already an avid scammer and swindler. When his parents found him out, they punished him by denying him dinner, ultimately saving his life as the food contained poisonous mushrooms. Guitry sees it as a sign from God to keep doing what he loves.

The film is stacked with quirky details, the pacing is pleasant and the cinematography solid. The voiceovers did become a bit much after a while, certainly as they drone on for about the entire length of the film. It's a shame, as there was potential to do even better. It did make me want to check out more of Guitry's work, and that's not something I say very often about classic directors.

Bjørn and Louise meet a Dutch family on their holiday in Italy. The two families hit it off and six months later they get an invitation to spend a vacation in The Netherlands. They oblige, but when they arrive, cultural differences drive a wedge between the two families, to the point where they don't feel comfortable anymore.

The first half of the film thrives on discomfort and anxiety (though not without a dash of comedy), as you feel something is off, it's just difficult to pinpoint what it is. The film takes a rather sharp turn halfway through and delivers some prime chills, including a rather disturbing ending. The performances are solid, the presentation is pleasant and the finale is right on target. Very good.

Asha's parents aren't too happy with the time their kids spend on their mobile devices. When they hear about a new internet challenge, they freak out and take away their devices. Other families in town are doing the same, and soon enough nobody is allowed to go outside. Asha and her brother set out to uncover the truth behind the hype.

The premise is smart, but the performances are poor and the CG is appalling. No idea why Grimcutty looks like a poor man's Ryuk (from Death Note), but he looks ridiculous instead of scary. There are no real frights, the tension is missing and the finale is predictable. It's a real shame because the premise had potential.

Tashiro is the only remaining member of the film crew. He continues the work of his predecessors and hits the jackpot when he runs into Eno, a psychic who promises he can bring back Kudo and Ichikawa. For that, Tashiro has to complete four seemingly random missions, each one trickier than the last.

The first two-thirds of the film is still pretty sane, especially if you've seen the previous parts. Then all bets are off and Shiraishi goes all out. Technically it's not great, but there's a creepy mood running throughout and the finale has some pretty wacky ideas. It's a shame the series is coming to a close when things are actually getting good, but at least it ends on a high note. This was not what I expected when I started these films, and that's a big positive.

When David tells off his boss after a missed promotion, he is immediately fired. This gets him thinking, and that same night he tells his wife that he wants to leave their old lives behind and tour the country with the money they've saved. Their marriage is in a rut, so she obliges right away.

Albert Brooks isn't all that great in the lead, his directorial skills are negligible too. There are no funny or interesting characters, the situations they get themselves in are pretty boring and the vibe is just drab from start to finish. At least it stopped short of 90 minutes, that was by far the smartest choice Brooks made.

Shawn is a popular streamer who messed up and got canceled by the internet. Six months later he resurfaces, and he wants to build up his brand again. He is willing to stream from a haunted house and he locks himself inside the premises. Not a smart move, as some actual ghosts are eager to take a swing at him.

Joseph Winter does well, but his character isn't strong enough to carry the film the whole way through. The effects are a bit crummy (I get it, the 80s and all, but not a success), the streamer stuff starts taking up too much time and the film overstays its welcome. Not bad, it just would've been better with 15 minutes cut.

The Vanquishers are a special brand of warrior, brought to life to fight off a demon invasion. They are successful in their endeavor, but when their mission is finished they serve little purpose and people begin to fear them. When they arrive in a city where the ruler has made a pact with a particularly vicious demon, they'll have to fight more than just a couple of demons to survive.

The effects are slightly better and the scope of the film is also a little bigger. The added runtime gives more time for melodrama though, which isn't really the best way to spend those extra 15-20 minutes. It's a fun, pleasantly paced, and adequately made demon basher, so I'm not complaining at all.

A young couple is going on their first hiking trip. What they don't know is that an alien ship has just landed in the forest, and is looking for Earthly subjects to study. It starts trailing the couple, but they're going through some relationship troubles, so they don't notice that something is eyeing them from the shadows.

The intro is a bit long, the midway twist is cheapish and Lacy may not have been the best cast, but some decent effects, a lovely setting, and some solid horror shots make up for it. You won't find anything new here, but the presentation is solid and people looking for pleasant, seasonal horror filler won't be disappointed.

Eileen wakes up in a small room, sitting in a chair. A computer voice gives her tasks, which she has to complete in a certain amount of time. If not, the life of her young daughter is at stake. Eileen obliges, but her mission becomes way more difficult when her estranged husband is added to the room.

It's a fun enough premise and though there aren't any major surprises, the solid pacing and decent presentation make this an easy watch. The relationship drama is quite dreary, bland, and poorly acted, which really works against the film. A bit more focus and a stronger dedication to getting the genre tropes right could've turned this filler project into a small cult favorite, but alas.

Moore's typical techniques are already in full effect here. There's a comedic layer, but it never feels entirely truthful and/or genuine, which undermines the points he's trying to make. This is a shame because some of those points are definitely worth making, and they kind of fade into the background.

I'm not a big fan of "let's try to reach this man so we can shit on him" type of footage (as it isn't very realistic), Moore's documentary is more interesting when he deviates from his original premise, it's just that I've grown to dislike his style over the years. It's still somewhat entertaining, just not very effective.

Riley is recovering from a drug addiction, but her newest boyfriend gets her on the wrong path again. Together they plan a heist, where they find the infamous puzzle box. Riley takes it home and inadvertently calls on Pinhead. She and her friends will have to fight off the Cenobites, as they lust for their flesh.

There's been a lot of talk about having a female Pinhead, but who cares when the Cenobites look like crap, the film lacks the excessive gore and the tension is completely absent. Yes, the budget is finally there again, but the horror elements are poorly executed and boring. That's not what you want from a Hellraiser film. Also, two hours is insane for a simple film like this. Just hire a good director for the next one, please.

Dill is a captain who takes tourists out on fishing trips. There's a big tuna that has escaped him for years, and whenever he runs into the fish, Dill hijacks the trip. He never managed to catch the fish, and he's running low on funds. Then his old girlfriend arrives in town, and she comes with a peculiar request.

McConaughey and Hathaway clearly weren't the best actors for the part, but even they can't ruin this otherwise interesting setup. The film looks decent enough, the reveal of the mystery is meticulous (though not too surprising) and the pacing is pleasant. Far from perfect, but an intriguing little experiment nonetheless.