Log: week 15 / 2022

During the German occupation of France, a young boy is sent to boarding school. At first, he doesn't want to leave his family, but after a while he finds himself a close friend, Jean. The problem is that Jean is of Jewish descent, though few people are aware of this. The two grow closer, but the threat of the Germans remains.

The performances are decent, the build-up is nice enough and the drama is okay. I need more from a film though and Malle simply didn't seem to care about the rest. The drab cinematography and basic soundtrack don't do the film any favors. Not terrible, but this could've been a lot better.

Virtual Love is about a young girl who starts working as a virtual escort. She takes on clients and spends time with them, making their lives a bit more enjoyable. She gets help from a second girl, teaching her how to act and behave, whilst the whole thing is recorded and can be sold later on.

The titular love is romance, not sex, so don't watch it if that's what you're after. The premise is kinda fun, but the performances are pretty weak and the film looks and sounds terribly cheap. There's not enough time to properly explore the plot, at this point I expect way more from Sono, even (or maybe especially) when it's only a short.

Zatoichi has a price on his head after killing a couple of Kappo officials. When he enters a gambling den he quickly notices that the dealers are cheating. He brings their foul play to light, but this raises the suspicion of the Twin Snakes, two brothers who could very well use the money.

Like Demon Pond, Miike makes great use of lightning and sound to create an entire universe on his minimalist set. With Aikawa and Endo, he has some fine actors too. It takes a while for the story to get going and the near 3-hour runtime is way too long, but the final hour is pretty interesting and kept me engaged. It's a real shame it took Miike too long to get there.

Wei dreams of becoming a comedy actor, he just isn't very good. He gets lucky when he is hired out of the blue to headline in a new film, what he doesn't know is that he is part of a great scam to fool some local criminals. Wei really gives it his all, which gets him into some very dangerous situations.

The performances aren't that great and the comedy is very hit-and-miss, but the budget was clearly there. The sets look lush and writer/director Xing had quite a bit of fun with the styling, it just never really compares to similar Hong Kong films that were released a decade ago (or Mitani's original). Decent fun.

A few years after the first film, the men come back together to go on one final tour. Their lives didn't really pan out the way they hoped, and they want to go out with a bang. On their way to a stripper convention they run into trouble, but with the help of old friends they manage to get where they need to be.

The script is a bit meandering and the comedy isn't always very successful, but the actors are visibly having fun and the pacing of the film is fine, even though it's a bit long in the tooth. Not a bad sequel, possibly even a little better than the first one, but it's not all that remarkable.

A young girl once found love, but her mother didn't approve of the relationship. They live separated from the rest of the world and the girl gets into her own head, which leads to a nervous breakdown. Her doctor prescribes a long vacation to South-America, where she meets a wonderful man.

Films like these aren't really for me. They're built around easy drama and are very plot-driven, which a sentimental score and plain black and white cinematography pushing things along. But Bette Davis does manage to make something of her characters, which saves it from complete disaster.

Ding Ding is an Asian-American who moves back to Beijing to complete her studies. There she bumps into Dong. The two are clearly made for each other, but when Dong wakes up the next morning he doesn't remember Ding Ding. Dong suffers from memory loss, which greatly complicates their relationship.

Koo is a pretty solid actor, but he's just terrible here. Ma's direction is all over the place, the comedy is more miss than hit, the romance doesn't really work, and the film has some serious pacing issues, even when the runtime is relatively short. Not Jingle Ma's finest work, which makes it pretty difficult to recommend.

A team of filmmakers wants to make it big. Preempting the boom of the home video market, they set off to shoot an X-rated film in an old man's barn. When they arrive they get to work, but the old man behaves oddly, and once they meet his wife things get truly weird and awkward.

The make-up is pretty distracting, the horror elements are tame, the introduction is way too long and the performances are mediocre. It takes West a long time to get to the good part, but when it finally arrives the film feels unfocused and random. Apart from a handful of decent moments (the croc scare in the first half is cool), this turned out to be a very unmemorable film.

A group of mad scientists are doing immoral experiments on humans, growing odd, mutated creatures inside them. When their test subject kills herself before giving birth, they scour the streets to find a new victim. They find a good candidate, but the experiment itself isn't without danger either.

Get past the dull first half, and some zany splatter horror awaits. The practical effects are insane the and the film does go into complete overdrive, it's just a shame it took director Iida so long to get there. The final 15 minutes are lots of fun, stick around to see it, or just skip ahead if you're very impatient.

Chip lives a boring life. He doesn't like his job, his wife doesn't really love him, and he has no real hobbies. When he gets his first prostate exam, he finally finds something he truly loves. He slowly gets addicted to putting odd objects up his butt, which becomes problematic as they keep growing in size.

The performances are straight-faced, the soundtrack is atmospheric, and the films looks pretty good (though it was clearly made on a budget). But the key asset of Butt Boy is its commitment to surprise, and to go where you never expected it to go. Not for everyone, certainly not perfect, but if you love an odd film, it comes warmly recommended.

Eliza Doolittle is a poor but street smart flower seller who bumps into professor Higgins. He sees in her a project and enters a bet with a friend of his. The goal is to turn Eliza into a proper lady, someone who could walk among the member of high society without being found out.

The performances are plain, the story is familiar, the romance doesn't work too well and the film isn't very humorous, nor dramatic. It's just a plain story told over the course of 90 minutes. Not my kind of cinema, certainly not when it's almost a century old. I'll take the musical over this.

Wild Tiger is part of a televised superhero team. He's the oldest of the bunch and the TV ratings are quickly dropping. The TV station introduces a new superhero and makes him a companion of Wild Tiger. The two are off to a very bumpy start, but when they join forces to catch a particularly crafty thief, they are forced to work together.

The animation quality is mediocre and the art style a bit basic. The idea of the televised superheroes is pretty fun, and it helps that there isn't too much drama that gets in the way of the action. At just under 90 minutes the film doesn't outstay its welcome either, even though the plot is pretty slim. Decent.

A crew is assembled during the pandemic to shoot Cliff Beasts 6, a cheesy blockbuster made to lighten the mood of audiences everywhere. After a strict quarantine the shooting finally starts, but the actors behave like spoiled brats and keep messing up the production of the film.

I generally don't care for films about films, especially not the ones putting feathers in their own asses, but I do appreciate it when they make fun of their perceived importance. The comedy is daft and varied enough, the cast is on point, and at no point in the entire film does it take itself serious. Fun.

As an effect of the handover, soldiers employed by the Brits suddenly find themselves without a proper job. They have no other skills and many of them roam Hong Kong without a clear goal. It's no surprise they end up favoring a life of crime, but even that is easier said than done.

The blueish hues are cold but moody, performances are decent, and the ending is pretty shocking, but the film is also a bit meandering and while the themes do shine through, Chan needs quite a bit of time to get to the point. Not a bad film, but a more pointed and concise effort would've been better.

Susanne is a Spanish model working in Paris. On the day she gets her big break, she gets a call from the hospital telling her that her grandmother has falling ill. Susanne travels back to Madrid to take care of her, but even though they shared a close bond, it's not as easy as she imagined.

Solid performances, a beautiful location (the flat of the grandmother) and some eerie scenes make this a tense and creepy horror film. The ending is pretty cool too, though a bit expected (not because it's a genre cliché, but because the film is a foreshadowing a little too much). Plaza made another great film for genre fans.