Log: week 35 / 2023

The young Anna Moore is engaged to Sanderson, a wealthy gentleman. After their wedding, when she tells him she is expecting, he confesses to her that the marriage is a sham. Moore is left behind and loses her baby, a serious trauma that leaves her scarred. Later on, Bartlett tells Moore he loves her, but she can't trust the man.

I got a bit annoyed with the slow intertitles and much of the drama is too sentimental for my taste, but the monochrome footage is relatively moody, and some of the more adventurous scenes (like the stormy finale) are a step up from the norm. Could've been better as a 90-minute film, but certainly not the worst.

Ling Ling Chai has been working as a poor butcher for the past 10 years, but when a dinosaur head is stolen he is reactivated. He is sent to Hong Kong to find out the mysterious thief who has stolen the artifact before it gets sold off. Chai is not the most typical special agent, but his methods are pretty effective.

Chow is still great. His facial expressions, body language, and comedic timing are pretty much perfect. The film is a little low on actual gags though, and while there are some very funny ones some are a bit too expected. The presentation is also a tad disappointing. It's still a very fun comedy, just not the gem I remembered it to be.

The Poseidon is a huge luxury cruise ship. On New Year's Eve, it is hit by a rogue wave, leaving it capsized in the middle of the ocean. There is still air trapped inside the vessel, but time is running out for the passengers who survived the first hit. The boat is slowly sinking and there's no outside help.

Some B-list (or former A-list) actors make up most of the cast, but this film is more about the special effects and set pieces anyway. It's nothing you haven't seen before, and because the film is quite short the pacing is slick (no time for too much unnecessary drama along the way). Pretty decent.

Bakshi is an actor who can't land a decent job. When working as an extra, he ruins the entire production, but fate gets him invited to a high society party of his employer. He can't seem to stay out of trouble there either, but even though he messes everything up, the guests seem to appreciate his presence.

If you think Sellers is a hoot then you'll love this film, if you think his physical comedy is rather basic then you better prepare for a repetitive film. The comedy is very one-note, the presentation is generic, and apart from a few inspired moments (like the ending), there's not much here that will stay with me.

Katie is a bit of an outcast, but when she manages to get into film school she feels like she finally found her people. Rather than fly there, her dad plans a surprise road trip with the rest of the family to give his daughter a proper goodbye. The trip doesn't quite go as planned, and to make things worse, robots have started a war to take over Earth.

High-strung, loud, and annoying characters, each and every single one of them. That's what killed this film for me. The art style is a step up from similar films, but it's not much of a comfort when your ears are ringing from listening to the horrid voice actors shouting every line. Not good.

A school counselor gets into trouble when one of his rich students accuses him of raping her. He quits his job and becomes a pariah in his community, especially when a second girl steps forward, also accusing him of rape. He gets himself a lawyer, but there is more to the story than people are telling.

What made this film famous were Denise Richards' boobs and her kiss with Neve Campbell, not quite as impressive 25 years later. The plot is still fun, though the setup takes a bit too long and the film could've been tighter edited. Not bad at all, but it's not the kind of film that gets better once you know the plot.

Some old Freeza's old gang members have made their way back to Earth and, after collecting the Dragon Balls, are pleading with the dragon to return Freeza to them. Their plan works and there's yet another long-winded battle between Freeza and the DBZ crew. Guess who's going to win this time around.

The animation and art style are a bit cleaner compared to the older films in the series, but they still lack the charm of the original. There's room for a little wackiness, which is fun, but compared to the action scenes and taking the length into account, it's simply not enough. Let's see what those Super films are all about then.

When a car crashes down a mountain, several witnesses go to check if there are any survivors. One man lies next to his car, telling everyone who can hear that a huge treasure is buried in a faraway location. When the people can't agree on a fair deal, it becomes a race to see who can reach the treasure first.

There's quite a bit of shouting going on, and the setup is a tad simple, but it makes for a pretty chaotic film with plenty of car chases (other vehicles are involved too). The performances aren't great, the second half is quite repetitive, but the manic atmosphere and the preference of comedy over a more serious film make this a pretty decent ride. If only it had been at least 30 minutes shorter.

The film consists of four shorts, neither one connected to the others. There's a birthday party gone out of control, a dangerous video game come to life, a stalker hunting students, and a girl's body dysmorphia turned into a physical threat. There's a bit of everything in other words.

The presentation is hard to critique since the quality is pretty bad, but the camera work and the effects are clearly on the low-budget side of the spectrum. I liked the computer game short best, as it was the weirdest and most fantastical one, the others were pretty disappointing. Not great, but if you like a rare horror oddity, it's worth a go.

Yoshikawa is fighting hard to meet her deadline, but things aren't really working out. Things get worse when two of her colleagues approach her to convince her this deadline week has been repeating itself for quite a while now. At first, she doesn't believe them, but once they break the spell on her, she needs to find a way to stop this madness.

It's a pretty light and entertaining film, nothing too dark or serious going on here. The film doesn't overstay its welcome, there are a few fun twists (though nothing too spectacular if you're familiar with these types of films) and the presentation is pleasant for an indie project. Fun and quirky, but it doesn't do quite enough to really stand out.

A young actress is having trouble getting her first big break. She finally lands a part in a horror film, not something she's dreamed of, but it's an opportunity. The film is based on an actual murder and it doesn't take long before strange things start happening on set. Even so, the show must go on.

The build-up is slow and deliberate, there aren't too many scares, instead, Shimizu goes for a more otherworldly atmosphere. The final 20 minutes crank up the dread and there are some pretty memorable scenes there (thanks to a nicely designed doll), but overall it's a bit too slow and generic. Not half as creepy as I remembered it to be.

Porter was duped by his wife and partner in crime, for a mere 70.000 dollars. He was left for dead, but he survived and once he's back on his feet, he only wants one thing (remember the title of the film). His old partner has connections to an organized crime syndicate though, so it won't be easy.

So Gibson. Not a very talented actor, but he has some charisma. The same can't be said about director Helgeland, who does very little with the material given to him. At least the film is rather short, and the setting is appropriately grimy. Other than that, not a film I'll remember for long.

Saori is hard up for cash, and her current job isn't giving her many prospects. Her father left her years ago, and suddenly a colleague of his seeks out Saori and offers her to come work for him. She doesn't want to reconnect, but when he presents her with a big lump sum of money, she reluctantly agrees.

The characters are a bit too stereotypical and the presentation could've been better. Some of the comedy and drama haven't aged too well, but there are also some wholesome and pleasant moments. The cast is also pretty solid, it's just that Inudô can do better. Decent drama, but not that memorable.

The film takes place during Napoleon's invasion of Russia. There are some key battle scenes that anchor the plot and provide historical context, but the meat of the story are the characters, through the various layers of society. They all crave happiness, and all try to get to it in their own way.

I'm not big on costume dramas and the mix of slow drama with big, outrageous battlefield scenes was pretty random and awkward, but one had to respect the time and effort that went into making this film. The cinematography was the biggest plus, though not to such a degree that it could save the rest of the film for me. Only for those who love classic cinema and have a lot of time to spare.

Jones is old and teaches at a university. When his goddaughter pays him a visit, his quiet life is about to take a turn for the worse. Helena has found clues to the whereabouts of the Antikythera, a mechanism that can predict time warps. She convinces Jones to join her on her quest.

It's Mangold directing the film, but Spielberg is never far off. That means it's all very PG-13 and old-fashioned, including the classic theme song (that pops up whenever Jones is about to get serious), the silly villains, and the soft action. The budget was there, but the creative ideas weren't. I hope this is the last we'll see of this franchise.

Vijay is a poet, but his work has little success. When his brother makes fun of his career, he leaves home in search of a more appreciative audience. He meets up with a prostitute, who loves his work and wants to get it published. His poetry finally finds a way to the public when a dead beggar is mistaken for Vijay and his poems are exploited based on the sad backstory by a grubby publisher.

Indian melodrama is the worst kind of melodrama. It's probably the combo with the music that drives it over the top for me, but I didn't care for the poetry, didn't care for all the misery and drama that befalls these characters. There are some decent shots here and there, but hardly enough to redeem the 140-minute runtime.

A peaceful planet is under attack. Aggressive aliens are trying to take over the planet, the peaceful aliens find no better solution than to hire a band of fighters. Under the command of Cowboy, the leader of the pack, the gang will do their best to stop the alien invasion, which is easier said than done.

The plot is loosely based on Seven Samurai, but who cares? This is a cheesy space opera with shoddy effects but made with lots of dedication. The designs are rather creative, the pacing is slick and the entertainment value is high throughout. It's far from the best sci-fi I've seen, but it sure was entertaining from start to finish.

Peace has returned to Earth, but not for longer. Bils, a destroyer by nature, wakes up and sets his mind on destroying our dearest planet. Goku is excited, as he's been quite bored these past few years. He's happy to accept Bils' challenge, but he is quite a bit tougher than expected.

Usually there wasn't much time for introductions, with a good half hour extra the film can take an easier start and find a better balance between fun and action. The enemy is a little bland and the action scenes are still very random (just people powering up until one finally wins), but at least the balance here is decent. Not bad for a Z film.

Shouhei Eno is a creep who has raped more than 100 women. For his latest experiment, he wants to film his crime. While successful, he isn't too happy with the resulting video. And so he sends it to a magazine, asking them to do a piece on him. He grants them an interview, in return, they have to make a more professional shoot of his latest rape.

It's a pretty bonkers plot, held together by the lead role. While hardly a sympathetic man, he is pretty interesting, giving a face (even when it's hidden behind some goofy sunglasses) to a vile, self-aggrandizing criminal. The faux doc style adds a little authenticity to the film, but it never transcends its technical and budgetary limits. Better than I expected though.

Kimble is a tough and hardened city cop. During an undercover mission, his partner falls ill and he has to take over her part of the deal: go undercover in a small-town school and be on the lookout for the family of a criminal. He isn't really fit to deal with kids, but the mission is important, so he's willing to give it a go.

The comedy is slim, apart from the obvious mismatch there's not much to laugh at. The kids are pretty annoying too, the criminal elements are underdeveloped and the direction is bland. Like most blockbusters, the pacing is decent, but you've got to wonder how this was ever a popular film.

A Hong Kong undercover cop infiltrates a Thai drug cartel. The Thai run a smooth operation and manage to smuggle drugs to Hong Kong, but international police are on their tail and they've got their eye on the undercover cop. The cop develops a strong bond with one of the criminals, which further complicates his situation.

Comradery, betrayal, an exotic setting, and plenty of gunfire. It's true heroic bloodshed cinema brought to the 21st century. The cast is pretty great, the action scenes are impressive and Yau's direction is solid. A bit too long maybe, but if you love a good Hong Kong action flick and you're feeling let down by the country's recent output, give this one a go.