Log: week 26 / 2022

Romy and Michele are best friends. They had a pretty good childhood, and they're having lots of fun together. When they hear there's a school reunion, they start reminiscing about their past, and they wonder if other people really liked them back then. Their lives aren't all that special either, and they never accomplished much, so they make up a background story to appear more successful.

Sorvino is fun, Kudrow has a rather hard time detaching Michele from her character in Friends. The jokes are pretty hit-and-miss and the US 90s pop scene isn't really worth revisiting, but the comedy offers lighthearted fun throughout and the pacing is pleasant. Not great, not terrible.

Lightyear is the film that inspired the Buzz toy production from Toy Story. It's a film about a group of Space Rangers who get stranded on an alien planet fraught with dangers. Buzz becomes the test pilot for an experimental type of fuel that should get them off the planet, but each test propels Buzz four years into the future, and progress is slow.

There's still some typical Pixar comedy present, but much less so compared to their other films. Their signature baseline contradiction is also absent, which is a big relief. Not that Lightyear is hardcore sci-fi, but it has the basic genre beats down and the film delivers a fun space-based adventure. A pleasant surprise. Oh, and if you're wondering about that "kiss", grown up people should be ashamed of themselves to even make an issue out of such a minor, throwaway moment.

Jim's mother just died, his wife is filing for divorce and his daughter doesn't really like to spend time with him. He tries to escape in his job, but after some irregularities Jim's thrown off the force. His life is in shambles, and he has no real support system to keep him stable. Still, he wants to fight for his daughter.

The balance between drama and comedy is a little off and Jim's character could've use a few more layers, but there are some lovely scenes (like the funeral at the very beginning) and the drama does work pretty well. It's certainly not my favorite Cummings film, but fans of his persona won't be disappointed.

Finlay is a homicide detective who is assigned the case of Joseph Samuels, a Jewish man murdered after a night out in town. A group of army friends are the primary suspects. Monty is a bit of a loose canon, his friends are too drunk to remember anything. Finlay seeks the help of their sergeant, hoping he might crack the case.

This is another noir with a lot (and I mean a lot!) of conversation. It's a very simple narrative, that regularly makes way to delve into the possible anti-Semitic nature of the case. I say "delve", but it's almost like watching school TV, with people delivering very flat and explanatory monologues. Not very good.

Da Peng is a popular TV personality, who manages to ruin his entire reputation in a single night. He is left with nothing and decides it is time to chase an old dream: direct a superhero flick with himself in the lead. With almost no money to spend, he has to resort to some underhanded tactics to get his film finished.

The film looks pretty slick for a comedy, there are some rather big names in the cast (who don't mind poking some fun at their own persona) and the pacing is solid, even though the runtime is a bit excessive. It's very easy filler and there isn't a lot to actively dislike, it's just that it's all a bit too formulaic and predictable, and thus not very memorable.

Louise wants a change in her life, but her life coaches aren't really helping that much. Until she meets Val, a strong and powerful woman who takes Louise on a journey of enlightenment. They visit several types of life improvement programs, but something odd is going on with Val.

It's a bit odd the film tries to hide Val's true intentions ... as it is literally there in the title. The performances are decent, the comedy is dark and pretty bitchy, the pacing is perfect and the runtime short. I'm not entirely certain why I didn't like this film more, but somehow it just wasn't as funny as it should've been.

Some kids shoot footage from a mysterious woman stalking their neighborhood. They send over the video material to a documentary crew, who decide to further investigate the story. Some preliminary tests suggest the footage is untampered with, soon enough they're on the trail of the infamous legend, who is turning her attention to the crew.

You'll find the usual faux doc/found footage scares here, but the slit-mouthed woman isn't really all that scary, neither is the added lore about the amulets. Shiraishi delivers a short and fast-paced film, which is good enough if you're starved for Asian horror cinema, but it's a film that will only please the most hardened fans of the genre.

Navin grows up in a black family, wondering why he doesn't have the same skin color. When his mom tells him he is adopted, he decides to take a long trip, hoping to discover his true self. Navin isn't really ready to face the world just yet, but with a little luck and determination he manages to cope.

Martin is pretty annoying and lacks the physical comedy this part needed so badly. The puns are horrible, the plot predictable and the obligatory dramatic turn during the pre-finale is annoying. Apparently this film was pretty big when it was first released, can't say it's very deserving of its reputation.

Andrew is a little stingy when he goes to pick up his daughter's Christmas present. When he tries to bluff his way out of it, he ends up with nothing to give. Andrew's neighbor finds one store that still has the preferred toy left, but they have to face a 4.5-hour drive to get there. And Andrew can't really stand his neighbor.

The setup is pretty simple and with a 50-minute runtime, the film can't really go anywhere special with it. But Merchant and Chaudhry are a blast, the comedy is funny and season-appropriate, and the pacing is perfect. The film can't really escape its TV roots, but if you're looking for a pleasant comedy, Click & Collect delivers.

The title is pretty self-explanatory. A Chinese regiment is nearly annihilated. Only seven men remain, facing a Japanese army of over 20000 soldiers (and a fair few tanks). The seven men are tasked with defending a strategic stronghold, hoping to slow down the Japanese invasion. To do so, they'll have to be pretty crafty and resort to guerilla techniques.

You can't take the Shaw Bros out of Shaw Bros films, meaning this never truly feels like an actual war flick. The fight is never even remotely realistic and the 7 vs 20000 premise feels more like cinematic claptrap, but the action scenes are pretty amusing and the pacing isn't too bad for a 2-hour film. Far from Chang's best, yet passable, if you can stomach the patriotism that is.

Harper rents a luxurious house in the countryside, hoping to get away from some traumatic events in her past. After a walk in the woods she bumps into a strange, naked man, who ends up in front of her doorstep the next day. It's the start of increasingly distressing situations that slowly put Harper over the edge.

I usually appreciate a film that goes completely off the rails in the final act, but stylistically Men is rather poor, even though it's visibly straining to be as atmospheric as possible. The effect simply isn't there. The underlying themes are equally bland and disappointing, which makes for a pretty grotesque failure. At least the ambition was there though.

A young scholar treks up the mountain, looking for a secluded village. With a couple of local punks he discovers an ancient stone. The punks desecrate the landmark and soon after, the village is dealing with a zombie plague. The scholar is killed on his way out and returns as a ghost, helping a local taxi driver to save the remaining villagers.

So you get ghosts and zombies, with some minor demon activity at the very end. The tone of the film is very light, the effects are pretty cheap and the performances not that great. The film is short though, and it's pretty fast-paced, so all in all it's pretty amusing. Just don't go in expecting a vintage Shiraishi chiller, and you should be okay.

Dae-ho is a shy and socially awkward guy who works a boring job in a bank. He can't stand up for himself, which makes him an easy target for others to take advantage of. Dae-ho is tired of him own failures and wants to make a positive change. He turns his life around when he commits to becoming a WWF fighter.

The performances aren't great, the film looks pretty bland, the story is not very notable and the runtime is a little excessive. There are a handful of scenes that preempt Kim's later films, and it never gets too dull or uninspired, it's just not enough to keep things interesting for nearly 2 hours.

Angie is a stripper trying to make an honest buck. When she goes to work, she runs into some religious protesters who are making a big fuzz in front of her club. Little does Angie know that the protesters are onto something, as soon after she starts her shift, the Apocalypse begins.

Revealer is flashy and colorful, but it's held back by budgetary limitations and some cringeworthy dialogues. Religion, LGBTQ+ and liberal/conservative nonsense invade the film and break up the horror for no good reason at all. It's a pretty big shame, this could've been a lot better.

Edison is a washed-up MMA fighter who makes an extra buck throwing fights, Xiao is a reporter who is on to his little scheme. After a mysterious incident they switch bodies. Through Edison's life, Xiao discovers more than she ever would have in her own body, but to reach her goal she'll have to win an MMA tournament.

So this is just a very basic body-switching comedy with some sports elements thrown in. The cinematography is well above average for this type of film, but that's just about all that stands out. The performances are rather weak, the plot is dull, and the comedy lacks anything distinctive. Just bid budget fluff, not the worst of its kind, but hardly great.

The plot is once again a simple retake of One Thousand and One Nights. After being tricked by the evil Jaffar, King Ahmad teams up with a thief called Abu to sneak back into the city and save the princess from the clutches of the magician. If you've seen Aladdin, you should know what to expect.

The special effects are truly horrendous, and there is no monochrome fuzziness to hide them here. The only appeal comes from how cheesy it all looks, which is nice when the film is in full fantasy mode. The rest is even worse. Just watch the '24 adaptation instead. Longer, but better.

Julia follows her husband to Bucharest after his promotion. He is swamped with work, while Julia fills her days with doing not much in particular. When she hears about a serial killer on the loose in the city, she begins to suspect the strange man who is constantly keeping an eye on her from his window.

Monroe is very unlikable, the mystery is too simple, the finale pretty disappointing. It's a shame, as the cinematography is quite remarkable, and the score very moody. All the elements were there for a tense little horror film, but the result felt rather flat and uninspired. This was too much "Lost in Translation - The Horror Movie".