Log: week 22 / 2021

When the Joneses move into their new house, the people in their neighborhood aren't quite sure how to react to this flashy, worldly couple. Karen doesn't trust the two, but her husband, HR manager Jeff, is pretty taken with Tim Jones and does his best to make them feel at home.

The cast does a decent job, with Galifianakis as the obvious stand-out. There are too many jokes that don't fully land, and the action scenes feel somewhat underdeveloped, though the light tone of the film makes it easy to digest. It's certainly not a terrible film, just one that fails to stand out in any way.

There's hardly a plot to speak of. The main aim of the parody is The Ring, but Scary Movie 3 also tackles a lot of other franchise (even ones that aren't horror-related, like 8 Mile). There's also a tepid romance in there, but since this film is just about the comedy, it's hardly worth mentioning.

The problem is simple: none of this is funny. The jokes are predictable, the comedic timing is horrendous, and overall the execution feels cheap. This film feels like a rush job and even though they managed to land some famous actors for this entry, it comes off as a lazy fan project. Not good.

Murphy is a veteran Vietnam pilot who ends up becoming the test pilot of a new type of military surveillance helicopter. Though suspicious at first, he quickly learns to love this new hardware. During one of his surveillance missions he uncovers a covert operation, led by one of his old wartime nemeses.

The performances are weak, the film looks pretty cheap, the action scenes aren't that exciting and the futuristic hardware fails to impress. At nearly 2 hours, it's also way too long. There's just a basic amount of action/genre fun to be mined from this film, unless you're truly starved for action films, I wouldn't really bother.

The Poseidon is a big cruise ship. An earthquake and the subsequent wave put the ship upside down in the water. The survivors have only way thing to do: climb up the decks towards safety. Meanwhile, the film is slowly filling up with water and fires are raging everywhere. And so the survivor countdown begins.

Almost all scenes are filmed inside the ship. This could've resulted in a claustrophobic atmosphere, instead, it highlights the stage-like setup and comes off rather fake. There's also a bit too much bickering between the survivors, especially since most of them mistook shouting for acting. A handful of decent scenes make it a passable affair, but if you're after nail-biting suspense, you won't find it here.

Yihang Wei is a kid who is faced with the consequences of cancer at a very young age. After a successful operation he tries to pick up his life and things look up when he bumps into Xiaoyuan. After a rocky start, the two quickly become best friends, but tragedy hits when Xiaoyuan also falls ill.

Disease-based romance and tragedy has been quite popular in Asia the past decade and this film merely continues that tradition. Han's knack for beautiful visuals is there, and the actors do a pretty solid job, but the story is just a little too sentimental. It's certainly not a bad film, but I expect more from Han.

Due to his own mistake, Shuji and his family have to leave their home. His kids aren't too happy with the move and to annoy her father, Akane tweets that everyone is welcome to join their farewell party. The invitation is picked up immediately, and before they know, they have a miniature festival going on in their backyard.

The first half hour is quite slow and uneventful, but that's just part of the slowly building crescendo that wreaks havoc in the final hour. There's not a lot that makes sense here and everything is clearly played for laughs. Directors Yamamoto's execution is solid, though I will say that I've seen this done better. Still, if you're in for a hilarious comedy, this one comes well recommended.

Isabella is a remarkable TV quiz contender. Buster Carell is a desperate talent scout who sees big bucks in Isabella when he watches her performance on TV. He chases her down like a madman, but Isabella isn't all too willing to lay her future in the hands of Carell. Buster of course won't give up on her that easily.

There are a few slapstick moments that break the mold, but they are even less funny than the rest of the film. Performances are rather poor, the plot isn't all that interesting and though the film itself is relatively short, it felt at least twice as long. It's a comedy I simply didn't find funny, and since that's all there is to Miss Chic, the verdict is quite damning.

Bobby is at the point where he finally has a girlfriend and is ready to lose his virginity. That's easier said than done, with everyone getting in his way all the time. Things get even more complicated when his dad ends up in the hospital, which gets Bobby worrying if he will ever get to make the next step.

Performances are decent, the comedy is light yet amusing and the drama is poignant at times. It's very solid for HK standards, on the other hand this is a pretty standard and expected coming of age flick that goes through the motions without taking any risks. Just a decent film, which is better than I expected it to be.

When the Kwangtung Tigers kill one of Tung's family members, Tung gathers all his nephews and vows to take revenge. The Tigers are a fearsome bunch though and the only way to get to them is to separate them, which is easier said than done. To help them out, Tung calls in the help of 5 Shaolin masters.

Expect a slew of familiar Shaw Bros actors doing their usual thing. There's a lot of kicking, punching, hurling weapons at each other and some brutal murders. What there isn't much of is coherence or creativity. I'd probably like this film better if I'd seen it a bit earlier in my exploration of Chang's oeuvre, but as a 60th+ plus film it's just a bit too expected.

After a comical duo disbands their act, one of them lands a job as a TV host, with the other on board as a screenwriter. His job is to seek out haunted houses and spend the night there. He gets lucky on his first job as his camera registers a spirit. He becomes an overnight sensation and before he knows it, he is on his way to his second haunted house.

There is a lot of padding here, which isn't very interesting at all. Generic characters and Nakata's tepid direction simply don't support a dramatic narrative. The bigger problem though is that none of the haunts are scary. It's just the same old ghosts and apparitions doing the same old things. The ending gives the film a small boost, other than that this is for the most hardened J-Horror fans only.

A dad takes out his son to spend some time in the wilderness. He's going to learn his boy how to hunt, but after a short hike they run into a scuffle between two guys. One of them shoots the other in cold blood. Though they try to keep out of it, the kid betrays their hiding place, which marks the start of a complicated stand-off.

The cast does a decent job (with a somewhat surprising role for Willis), the setting is appealing, and the camera work is nice enough. Miller simply goes through the motions and doesn't do much beyond keeping the plot on the rails, but if you're looking for a decent action/thriller flick, this isn't such a bad choice.

Professor Brainard and his little robot pall are working hard to find a new source of energy. So hard in fact that he's been missing out on his own wedding. The day of his final attempt, he invents flubber, a squishy substance that has strange and magical powers. The question is: will it be magical enough to save his relationship.

The special effects are quite terrible, Williams is grating, the plot is really simplistic and the bad guy ... well, I actually felt bad for him as the film went along. It could be that little kids gets something out of a film like this, then again it'll probably just make their ADD worse than it already is. Pretty horrible.

Estella is a bit different from other girls. Her mom tries to raise her well, but her personality can't be toned down. She gets kicked out of school, messes up a fancy party, inadvertently kills her mom and ends up with two little hoodlums in the middle of London. Trying to make good of her life, she hopes to become big as a fashion designer.

The plot is decent but somewhat predictable and it's a bit of a cop-out that Cruella isn't really the villain here, but Stone thrives as Estella/Cruella, Hauser is pretty funny and cinematographer Karakatsanis really knows how to add a little extra flair to the film. The film is much better than it has any right to be, Disney did really well here.

The plot is a lot of bollocks, but that isn't necessarily problematic. All this film needed to do was bring these two giants together and let them fight it out. It does that rather efficiently, though there's still a little too much fluffy padding, with some little kids thrown into the mix for no apparent reason.

The problem with Godzilla vs. Kong is that it's not quite goofy or over the top enough to be fun, neither is it cool nor impressive enough to be a kick-ass blockbuster action flick. No matter how hard Wingard tries to make it big and bold, it all feels rather dull and inconsequential. Disappointing.

After being betrayed in the previous film, Bond his asked to keep his emotions out of his job. There's a bit more padding of course, but in the end the plot is always the same: Bond has to chase an evil guy half across the world, while hooking up with some women along the way. Quantum of Solace is no exception.

The action is a big step up from the previous film and the first half is pretty explosive. The second part slows down a bit too much, which takes away from the fun. But, major props for keeping it well under 2 hours for a change, a film like this really doesn't need to be any longer. There's definitely some good things here, it's just a shame about the less interesting second half.

Andrea is hoping to make it big as a serious journalist, but her job interviews don't work out and in the end all that's left for her is a secretary job for one of the biggest fashion magazines in the US. She becomes the assistant of Miranda Priestley, a stone-cold bitch who treats her as dirt, slowly Andrea starts to adjust to her new job.

It's a bit of an ugly duckling story with some girl power thrown in at the end. The performances are decent, and the first hour has some rather amusing scenes. The second half is too predictable though and with Frankel playing it safe from start to finish there's really not much here that makes a lasting impression.

Chas is a bit of a hothead. When he kills someone he endangers everyone in his little gang of criminals. And so, Chas has no other choice than to flee, both from the cops and his gangster friends. He ends up with Turner, a strange musician who is working hard on making his comeback.

James Fox puts in a pretty solid performance, but it's Roeg's manic visual style that stands out here. It's a little rough around the edges and I don't think it works very well with the score, but the energy is boundless. It's a pretty odd film beyond that, possibly a bit too puzzling for some, but it's certainly worth a shot.

The Ming dynasty is dealing with a Chinese-Japanese pirate problem on its south coast. They are hard to battle, and regular military attacks are expensive and inefficient, so they send Yu Dayou, a tactical mastermind, to solve their problem. He quickly discovers that one of the Chinese officials is accepting bribes from the pirates.

It's always nice to see a film like this shot on location, Hu is also very capable capturing these lovely settings. Performances aren't too great, luckily there isn't too much drama or narrative. The fight choreography isn't the best either, though the editing is nice and punchy and the short runtime keeps things nice and tight. A solid Hu.